the ketubah is framed and on the wall!!!

We took it to Michael's to get framed the day after Thanksgiving (thank you 60% off coupon!) and picked it up this past Sunday evening. This morning, we hung it on the wall, over the bed (with two 40 lb. hooks. As soon as I'm done with laundry and the bed is remade, I'll take a photo (please remind me if I don't).

Wow. We're real, grown up-like, married people! Hard to imagine, since I'm wearing monkey socks from the Old Navy kid's section today....

Want a reminder of our ketubah text? Conservative with Lieberman and English | Gallery Judaica

what's a bedekin? and why we don't have to sign our own ketubah

Bedekin, um I'm not sure what the official translation is except perhaps maybe "veiling." As in when the bride's veil is pulled down over her face by the groom. The historical reasoning for this is so that the groom knows who is behind the veil and isn't tricked into marrying the wrong girl.

BEDEKIN, from our wedding program:

This tradition of veiling the bride is derived from the biblical story of Jacob’s wedding. Jacob did not see his bride before the wedding ceremony, and was tricked into marrying Leah instead of Rachel.

The bedeken is a private ceremony at which the groom is escorted to the bride before her veiling. As the groom lowers the veil over the bride’s face, he is formally acknowledging his choice of bride.

As you can see, our bedekin wasn't private, but that's OK. It meant that our families were able to witness it, stay warm and dry, and add their blessings as well.

Hehe, my mom hugs just like my youngest brother, like a big lump. I'm not sure I'd noticed that before.

I'm not sure if my grandmother reads this blog, but I'll say here: I'm disappointed that she was late because she missed the reason I have a wad of kleenex in my hand: my uncle Charles (my late grandfather's youngest brother) gave us a blessing and said that he wished my grampa was able to be there. Thankfully, that's the only time I cried all day. Maybe it's better that my gramma wasn't there, she's not a very public person with her emotions.

Neither of my aunts were their either, that was kinda disappointing too, but none of them are into public emotions or really Jewish stuff either. Oh well. They can look at these pictures and wonder "why was I outside, freezing my tush off for a good seat and missing this whole thing?"

Honestly, I'm not sure what's going on here. I was too high on adrenaline. There was something about taking Rabbi Marc's tallit with intention and that meaning that I want to take Ben as a husband. Or something like that. I'm not sure.

Then, it was time for our male witnesses to sign our ketubah! Ari, Ben's friend on the left, Ben peering over their shoulders, Rabbi Marc in the middle, and my oldest friend, Michael on the right. I've know Michael since we were THREE at Temple Rodef Shalom preschool in McLean, VA. He didn't have a beard then :) Oh, and I'm obviosuly the marshmallow in the background. I wanted to see too!

I think that photo was taken when Rabbi Marc was explaining that the last letter of the ketubah was intentionally left 1/2 written so that the contract would be written, right there in front of us all, on the wedding day. I thought that was pretty neat.

The reason we wanted male, Jewish witnesses is that we wanted to make sure that our ketubah would be kosher and accepted in Israel. It's a traditional text with a flowery English translation that we're both fond of. [We even got it framed over the weekend and should be able to pick it up in 2 weeks!]

KETUBAH: from our wedding program:

Before the ceremony, two witnesses under the supervision of the Rabbi will sign the ketubah, the Jewish wedding contract. The ketubah is a legal document, written in Aramaic that specifies the bride’s rights and the groom's obligations to the bride. Traditionally, there is no need for the bride to sign the ketubah because according to Jewish law the ketubah is her property.

Ben and I signed our names on the bottom, in English (mine looks like a 12 year old, I was kinda spacey), but there's no religious obligation to do so. It was my contract and Ben let two witnesses sign it as a way of saying that he accepted it. That's how a Jewish court (Bet Din) would see it anyway. If Ben had objected, the rabbi wouldn't have let 2 guys sign it as his representatives.

We had 2 girlfriends (Becca, who introduced us at Hillel, and Andrea, who was my first friend at Interlochen) sign our Colorado license. The third document we had, which was actually signed first, was an pre-nuptial agreement of sorts; it said that if I should ever ask for a divorce from Ben (in a religious court) that he would be required to give it to me. Otherwise, a Jewish divorce can only be initiated by the husband. We had two family friends who are both young and divorced, although one is remarried and the other just recently engaged, sign it for us (Mark the Russian, and Ethan).

That was it, we were 1/3 married (rings and yihud were to come shortly). Then, there was lots of singing and I think someone tried dancing but no one else went along with it. Once all the guests had gone out to the ceremony site my mom and Ben's dad helped Ben into his kittle (the one my mom spent Wednesday->Friday making).

To be continued.....

does blogging have a pause button?

Things are starting to happen quickly, like dominoes falling. Today we heard from about many people we'd been waiting to hear from if they were coming or not. We also got our ketubah in the mail! It's beautiful and our names are typo free, woohoo! Kippot have been shipped, welcome bag goodies procured, and crafting dates lined up with a girlfriend.

Tomorrow is Erev Rosh Hashanah, the night when Rosh Hashanah starts. Starting tomorrow night it will be 5771, the year in which Ben and I will be married. Wow. That's a heavy thought. I know that from this blog it looks like I'm obsessed with wedding planning, and that it's all I do; I'm not and its not. Wedding planning is my escape from the sad reality of my employment situation. As a bride with a wedding expense account (thanks mom and dad!) I'm a normal, functioning bride, not an under-employed college grad who is addicted to mediocre TV and might qualify for public assistance if not for all the cobbled together part-time jobs I hold.

Anyway, if you've read this far, I just want to say thank you, and I hope that you'll forgive me for any bad stuff I may have said or done this past year. Its the time of year for forgiveness. May we all have a happy, healthy, and sweet year together. L'shanah tovah, happy new year!

I need to stop looking at ketubot

This is the last ketubah that I'm going to look at. I wish I could get a better look at the gold foil writing around the edges, but at least we're set on a papercut, as opposed to a printed ketubah. I wish we could afford a painted, or etched glass, but I'm OK with the modest budget so that we can also get pretty invitations. So, I need to stop looking at ketubot. That's it. We've got 3 contenders, and leave it at that.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="Blue Silhouette by Mickie Caspi"][/caption]

this one vs. that one

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="225" caption="Four Seasons Ketubah by Enya Keshet"][/caption]

I really can't decide which one I like more! They're both paper cuts and they both have printed (not calligraphic) text, but they're so different. The first one is cool because it's laser cut parchment over hand dyed silk, made in Israel, and the tree going through the four seasons is just so cool. But I just found it online today and there aren't a whole lot of options when it comes to picking the text, plus the poetry in the border is all in Hebrew. With the second one, I like the Toronto Reform text, that poetry in the border is in English also, and the fact that we saw it in person while looking for a ketubah and wedding invitations at Kolbo, in Brookline, MA.

[caption id="attachment_303" align="aligncenter" width="240" caption="Gefen Papercut- Autumn by Ruth Stern Warzecha"][/caption]

oooh, pretty ketubahs!

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="Autumn Tree II, Eve Rosin"][/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="Nature's Radiance, Claire Carter. This one also comes as a chuppah!"][/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450" caption="we can upload our own photo/art!"][/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="Two Trees - Promise, Claire Carter"][/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="Two Trees - Serenity, Claire Carter"][/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="Summer, Micah Parker"][/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="Tree of Life - Delight, Claire Carter"][/caption]

are you seeing a theme here? Trees? אני לדודי ודודי לי = Ani ledodi vedodi li? Blues and greens? Not a lot of red? For some reason too much red/orange just bothers us. I like wearing red, but Ben doesn't. Whatever, cool tones and neutrals it is.

PS- I'm not sure what Ben means when he says they're "cute." Does he like them, not care to look right now, or think they're too feminine?

ketubahs can be beautiful, or hideous

I'm bored. That's because I STILL DON'T HAVE A JOB. To keep myself busy today I'm looking at ketubot, Jewish wedding contracts. They can have the traditional Aramaic text or a Secular Humanist text, or anything in between. I'm pretty sure that we're going to have some variation of the Conservative text, with the Lieberman Clause, but that's about all I know.

Theoretically, I've left it up to Ben to pick one out. Hahaha, so far that's translated into me sifting through hundreds of designs and sending him emails with a few dozen contenders. I definitely have my favorites, but I didn't pick out anything to forward to him that I would hate to see on our wall for the rest of my life. Some of them are really awful and quite trendy looking. Pixilated shabbos scenes? Really? I think not ketubah designers! I veto you!

The text is what really boggles my mind. My rules that I gave Ben for picking out the text: there must be an English TRANSLATION (not just a correlating text), and the Lieberman Clause must be included. I don't want to be stuck, unable to obtain a get (divorce) if anything should ever happen (Gd forbid).

Here they are, some non-ugly ketubot (imho). And yes, I like tree themed ones and greens, blues and purples.

[gallery link="file"]

PS- I fixed the http upload error I was getting earlier. Apparently where files were being uploaded to changed itself somehow. Boo for that, but thanks to an anonymous comment found by googling, the problem is all fixed!