traveling

I'm going to be gone from July 3-19, traveling with my bestest gal pal and visiting my mom. Just letting the internets know before I forget to tell you why I've fallen off the web next weekend for 2 weeks.

[caption id="attachment_820" align="aligncenter" width="480" caption="Machu Pichu, from last August's trip to Machu Pichu -this photo looked better before I degraded the image file to upload it faster :( "][/caption]

See more (and better quality versions) of my photos at viola_in_peru.

look at me, look at me!

We got our engagement photos on Wednesday! Some of them came out really well too. WOOHOO!

http://www.pictage.com/795846

Now we just have to figure out what to DO with them. Other than sending a few choice ones to grandparents, I think we're just going to have a few of our favorites printed out and then make our own photo album.

On the theme of photography, I've realized how disappointed I am that there won't be any photos of our auf ruf or of shabbat dinner on Friday night (it's not OK to take pictures on Shabbat in our congregational ethos, or Ben's family's for that matter). Our families and friends are starting to make their travel arrangements and are getting excited about coming out to Boulder, I'm realizing quite how important it really is to me that they're going be here.When we decided to move the wedding here, from DC, I'd girded myself for the fact that this was going to be a destination wedding for most people and that we'd have low-ish attendance. Now it looks like most everyone we thought would come is coming!

[caption id="attachment_817" align="aligncenter" width="200" caption="my "I'm hot stuff" photo from our e-photo session"][/caption]

I need a writing coach

Tonight, we're having our 3rd (of 6 or 7) meeting with our rabbi to discuss our wedding. Our homework was to write letters to each other about why we want to marry the other, and not share them but make them so that there's nothing in there that our rabbi would be uncomfortable reading. We've had 3 weeks, and I'm got just over a page of stream of consciousness rambling, or 2/3 of a page of bullet points. Yeah. Ask me to write an essay on a literary work, symphony, movie, etc. and I'll give you a 5-7 page essay with sub headings and footnotes, but ask me to write about my feelings and I'll clam up and get stuck. Oh well, I'll knock something out, but I feel kinda badly that I haven't put more time and effort into this (though I'm not entirely sure it would have helped).

I wonder what he's going to do with our letters. I'm sure it has something to do with gleaning personal details to talk about during the wedding ceremony (which is why I want it taped, I want to be able to actually listen and hear what he has to say, because I think I'll just be a flighty/bouncy ball of emotional giggles on our wedding day).

(source)

Eeep. Our other homework was to call and try and make an appointment with one of the two counselors the rabbi recommended. He wants us to meet with a pre marital counselor at least once or twice, though we've been reading through the pre marital counseling coaching books from URJ and haven't found anything to provoke any concerning thoughts. I kinda wish it did though, then we'd at least have something to go to the counselor with and say "This is what we'd like you to help us work through," instead of "Hi, I think we're pretty much the perfect person for each other and our rabbi wants you to confirm that."

auf ruf

Our friends, D and J,  had their auf ruf (calling up) where they were called up to the torah for an aliyah (an ascent to the bimah to say the prayers before/after reading the torah) on Saturday at services. We were asked to hold two corners of the rabbi's tallit (prayer shawl), to represent the chuppah they'll be standing under this coming Sunday. Ben read torah for them between their blessing over the torah, then Rabbi Marc said some prayers for them, and finally the congregation pelted them with candy!

I've never been at services when someone had their auf ruf who was a friend, or at all connected to me. It was kinda awesome, especially when thinking that it will be our turn in less than 4 months.

Our auf ruf will be the day before our wedding, and I hope that everyone we know through the congregation can come! If we have people that are meaningful to us, and our families there, I'm going to cry the second I make eye contact with anyone; I just know it. Adrenaline will keep me from being too emotional on our wedding day I expect, not unlike during my recitals (when I'm sick as a dog, but play to the best of my ability anyway).

A smaller, more day to day, way that I've been preparing for our wedding is drinking lots of water and trying to watch my tan lines (something I've been failing miserably at). I apparently suck at putting on sunscreen and have blochy blobs of sunburn on my arms and that little white triangle above my boobs, and various strap marks. I've either got to go out more with a strapless top on, or stay indoors/covered in SPF 100 for the rest of the summer. I think I'm going to go make myself some more strapless shirts.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="320" caption="my tan line/sunburn fears realized"][/caption]

(source)

PS- want to see some funky tan lines? Click here, I think they're beautiful.

invitations II

Oh boy. Invitations have caused much drama. We decided to stick with the original modestly priced ones, from weddingpaperdivas.com. I ordered a sample for $1, and they invitations were great, but I decided that the envelopes aren't opaque enough. This sent me on a wild goose chase all over creation for better envelopes, but I ended up back where I started, but with inner envelopes!

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="420" caption="Pure Style, weddingpaperdivas.com"][/caption]

Inner envelopes, and a return address embosser, in the same font as the invitation! These invitations are turning out fancier than I'd intended, but Ben thinks they're perfect because they convey the tone of our wedding well: modern/not casual/not fancy. Sweet. Happy Ben = happy Deena!

My parents actually already have a hand held embosser with return address plates (it came with the house), but for some reason it was printed upside down. My dad mailed it to me because I thought it would be useful, but the only thing it's good for is stamping book pages or making your own stationery because you have to stamp from the top to get it to print right side up. Envelope flaps need to be stamped from the bottom, or the text will come out upside down!

While I was in a stationary state of mind tonight (and ordering the embosser plates), we also ordered a 100 sheets packet of cover paper for wedding programs, matching escort cards, ribbon (for binding the programs), and my bouquet. I'm going to be walked down the isle by both parents, and will be holding a family Tanakh (with all of my maternal family's births, deaths, weddings, etc.) so I'm not going to have flowers, but I figured I need something to keep my hands busy during photographs and paper is much more me than flowers. As an added bonus, I know I'm not allergic to PAPER mini magnolias!

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="350" caption="Mini Magnolia Flower Kit, paper-source.com"][/caption]

major wow wedding

WOW, this is the most beautiful wedding I've ever seen. The only thing I'd change if it were mine would be the flowers (no roses). WOW.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="900" caption="from photographer, Kate McElwee's blog"][/caption]

Kate McElwee's blog is full of wonderful goodies, but I'm especially in love with Karen and Phil's Boston State Room wedding.

grown up stuff

(source)

Part of growing up is being a responsible with money. Someone out there is being completely irresponsible with my money for me! We have a join credit card (it's just easier to deal with the bills this way, even Miss Seahorse agrees!), and the bill came in last month with a bunch of charges for meetic.com, a version of match.com, a dating site. The charges were made on my card! There's NO WAY I registered with a dating site, especially not 3 times in 2 weeks -and then 9 billing pages worth during May.

In comes the fraud prevention team, who so far has done nothing other than send me a new card (with a numbers on it) and monitor my account and attempt to keep up with reversing all the fraudulent charges. Some have even been made over seas, so there are now surcharges and exchange rate issues. Ugh. I'm about to call them again and ask how a card with a $7k limit has +$11k in fraudulent charges on it.

Lesson: keep checking your statements, don't just stick with auto bill payments for variable costs. I'm 100% behind auto payments for things like insurance, cell phones, the rent, or other things that are fixed and regular, but what if I hadn't caught it and just blindly paid the +$500 that my April bill was for? Looking back I realized that the two of us only charged about $300, but I didn't know until I looked.

Time to get back to defending my identity and doing battle with the credit card company (again). Ugh!

check!

Contract signed with the florist! There will be a chuppah with aspen supports and the tables won't be bare.

We also ordered a ketubah!



To do/find/book:

• order invites


• DJ/ceremony sound guy


• ceremony musicians


• menu tasting/finalization

I've been thinking about having a brass quintet/quartet. Ben's not sold, but I think it'll be easier than trying to mic a string quartet. Then again, I've never tried to mic anyone!

nailing down the details

The other day was our -4 month anniversary, meaning we now have fewer than 4 months before the wedding! Ack! Actually, I'm really not stressed. We have our meeting with the florists tomorrow, and will hopefully nail down what kind of decor we're going for. Personally, I'm torn between these two looks (click on them for sources):

[caption id="attachment_768" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="orchid centerpieces"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_767" align="aligncenter" width="240" caption="Martha Stewart - pine bough in a wide vase"][/caption]

Ignoring the fact that I'm lost and indecisive when it comes to how I want the ballroom to look, we're settled on the ceremony and it's back-up plan (white chairs on the lawn -weather permitting, a white chuppah with the quilt my mom is working on basted into the chuppah, fencing to block out the traffic, and a DJ to mic the whole thing). We've also decided --finally-- on a ketubah and on wedding invitations as well, though we still have to finalize our order for both of those things.

The only major thing left on the list is to hire a DJ! I suppose we have to address and mail the invitations, have our tasting at the hotel, and finalize the menu, and continue planning the ceremony with Rabbi Marc, but none of those things stress me out, they just need to be done in a timely manner.

Oh, and sign up for pre marital counseling. Rabbi Marc strongly suggests that we meet with someone at least twice to do I don't know what. Last night, we read the first two chapters of Meeting at the Well: A Jewish  Spiritual Guide to Being Engaged and didn't find it particularly helpful. I think we're being honest with ourselves and each other. We both went through our "OMG, I'm going to marry this person" freakout before we decided to make our intention to marry one another official by becoming engaged.

Honestly, wedding planning is much more under control than I expected them to be at this point. The check list of things to do is not very long, and our wedding is coming up! It's so weird to think that after almost 2 years of engagement that we'll be mailing out invitations in 6 weeks. Kinda surreal.

out of town bags

Not everyone will be staying in the same hotel, and they're both expensive to make and to have delivered to guests, so sadly we'll be skipping them. But I'd always kinda figured that we'd make them for out of town guests, since we're asking them all to shlep out here to Boulder. Oh well. If we did have the spare funds to make them, and the and knew where to deliver them, here are a few of the things I'd like to include (with some custom labeled bottled water from Costco:

suncreen - alltravelsizes.com

advil (for alt. sickness) - alltravelsizes.com

Izze Sparkling Apple Juice

(source)

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="345" caption="Chicolove Crystalized Ginger Dark Chocolate Bar"][/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="179" caption="Boulder Canyon - Balsamic Vinegar and Rosemary kettle chips"][/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="261" caption="Morning Thunder tea - Celestial Seasonings"][/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="230" caption="Bert's Bees Beeswax Lip Balm (tube)"][/caption]

Pearl Earrings

Pearl Earrings

14k Gold Cultured Freshwater Pearl Earrings - Earrings Pearl - Macy's.

I always thought I'd wear pearls with my wedding dress, but then I decided that I was going to add pinup style halter straps to my dress and the dream of wearing pearls down the tubes, I've now got my heart set on pearl drop earrings. I have 3 pairs of pearl studs (small, large, and pink), but I want danglies! What girl doesn't love a good pair of danglies that won't get caught in her hair? Plus, these have a tiny diamond and euro claps instead of hooks

My birthday is in 6 weeks, if anyone wants to buy my a present.... With your coupon from the Sunday paper (extra 15% off), They come in under $100, including tax.... I tried them on in the store and the nice lady told me that the sale is good through June 16th.

PS- I kindasortamaybe already asked Ben for these for my birthday, so if you're anyone other than him and want to gift them to me, please check with him first. Then he can go back to my original birthday request: a laptop desk (grey).

why Boulder?

Why not?! Boulder is where we live and a beautiful and amazing place.

Originally, we'd planned on marrying in DC or Northern Virginia, near where I grew up and my immediate family all live. Then things got complicated. My grandfather passed away last spring (April 2009), and we realized that having him there was what had been tying us to DC and without that we could be married anywhere!

There are two main reasons we chose Boulder, 1) it's where we live and can easily plan things in a hands-on way without having to pay for any travel expenses beyond a tank of gas and 2) the cost of hosting the wedding here will be significantly less per person than in DC or northern VA, so we're able to invite more people. The downfall of getting married out here is that it is virtually a destination wedding, even though we live here, we're asking the vast majority of our guests to travel here to celebrate with us.

Does the blog-o-sphere have any input on destination weddings? Is it somehow weird or rude to ask people to travel to you, rather than going to where most of them are? I figure that it's our wedding, and that everyone can plan their own wedding as they wish.

[caption id="attachment_683" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="original venue, Sequoia - Georgetown, DC"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_318" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="actual venue, St. Julien Hotel - Boulder, CO"][/caption]

nervous giggles during picture time

I get the nervous giggles. Especially when giggles can be inappropriate, like auditions, or when someone is trying to take my photo. Oops. At least I learned yesterday that smiling for 4 hours doesn't hurt my face like I thought it might. [side note- I wonder at what time of day my face will hurt, from smiling so much, on our wedding day]

Taking our engagement photos yesterday with Debi and Amanda was a blast. We started with a picnic near the Flatirons, up behind the Boulder NIST buildings. While walking back, Ben and I climbed on some rocks and stood in tall grasses to take some more photos. Then it was off to the St. Julien, where we changed into our fancy clothes and then took some photos of us all dressed up and eating ice cream (and by the rainbow wall).

[caption id="attachment_760" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="view from near our picnic spot, only 5 minutes from the car!"][/caption]

These ladies have some serious camera stamina! They took almost 750 photos of us! Wow. I wonder how many will come out well, 1/2? 1/3? 1/4? It doesn't matter, as long as we have a few were we both look like us, without bra/spanx/xyz issues. The point was to get used to being in front of the camera and spend some time with our photographers so that we're not all strangers in 4 months when they're our shadows.

wedding brain

What is going to be my default topic of conversation once we're married? I hung out with a friend I rarely see yesterday, before crashing another friend's family function (to help her stay sane), and I realized that in both situations where there was an awkward pause that I defaulted to wedding related stuff. Oh well. I guess I'll just have to talk about the weather and current events (btw, that pillar of black smoke last night was SCARY, and I'm not too keen on Boulder Creek flooding either).

In other, wedding related news, I met with Ben in downtown Boulder for lunch and to go visit the jewelry store. We'd dropped off my shiny on Saturday to be polished so that it would be extra sparkly for our engagement photos tomorrow (more news on that later). While we were there we learned that our jeweler sources all his gold from a reclaimed/recycled gold company! Yey! And picked out wedding bands. Ben had originally wanted to get matching bands, but I think that's stilly if it's not what looks best so he looked at others and found a dude rind for himself. Very classic.

[caption id="attachment_756" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Ben's ring"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_757" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Deena's ring"][/caption]

I think it's funny that my ring looks so much bigger than his in these photos, but if you can read the tiny text and see that I wear a 4.5 and he wears an 8 you can see that they're different sizes. I'm pretty sure that my little 2.5 mm band will fit inside his 5 mm band. But my ring looks so pretty with my purple-stoned shiny, though I'm not sure I'll wear them together all of the time. I may also have to have my shiny let out a little because it's currently size 4.25 which fits perfectly by it's self but gets kinda snug feeling when I'm wearing another ring with it.

Now we have to decide what, if anything we want engraved inside the rings. I was thinking "ani l'dodi" in one ring and "v'dodi li" in the other, and 10.10.10, but Ben's not sold on the idea. Or just DJR + BKS 10.10.10 if we can't decide on something else. There's not going to be much room in my ring, and it's going to have some damned tiny micro script in it. I feel sorry for the engraver!

benchers AKA after meal prayer books

Hopefully no one has any objection to the regular blue ones that you'd typically see in the box-o-benchers at the synagogue, only new and with our bookplate!

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="172" caption="B'Kol Echad USY Songster"][/caption]

+

does anyone actually read this blog?

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="499" caption="via geekinheels.com"][/caption]

inspiration board I entered in a contest

The contest wanted a spring-y inspiration board for bridal ware under $500. I chose gold, ivory, and tiffany blue for the ensemble.

$472 + tax, JOP, tiffany blue wedding by violarulz featuring Autumn Cashmere accessories

Items in this set:

White Feather Accented Birdcage Veil with Comb for Weddings, Prom, Costume or Party, $48

14K Yellow Gold Oval Aquamarine Bezel-set Studs, $75

Romantic Soles Geneva at Zappos.com, $65 (ivory)

Retro Purses, Rockabilly Purses, Handbags, Clutches, and More!, $9

ASOS Pearl And Bead Multi Row Stretch Bracelet Set, $12

Pointelle Scarf: Size O/SZ, $60

Eliza J Textured Silk Sheath Dress - Wedding Dresses - Nordstrom, $120

RSVP Katrina, turquoise patent leather, $83

mosquito bites AKA why I should stay locked inside

We're trying to schedule our engagement photos for sometime soon, but I was out playing in our patio garden last night and was attacked by a swarm of mosquitos. For some people this may not be a big deal, but I get huge welts from them, and now my right ankle hates me. I got THREE bites on/around my outer ankle bone and now it hurts to flex/move it. Ouch. The TWO on my lower back (between my pants and my shirt when I'm bending over) aren't so bad, and I can deal with the  ONE bite on my left bicep, but why am I so tasty?! I just need to stick to my family's perfume of choice when going outside between 7 PM and 10 PM, and 5 AM and 8 AM: Deep Woods Off.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="331" caption="Deep Woods Off"][/caption]

I need to stop looking at ketubot

This is the last ketubah that I'm going to look at. I wish I could get a better look at the gold foil writing around the edges, but at least we're set on a papercut, as opposed to a printed ketubah. I wish we could afford a painted, or etched glass, but I'm OK with the modest budget so that we can also get pretty invitations. So, I need to stop looking at ketubot. That's it. We've got 3 contenders, and leave it at that.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="Blue Silhouette by Mickie Caspi"][/caption]