why Boulder?

Why not?! Boulder is where we live and a beautiful and amazing place.

Originally, we'd planned on marrying in DC or Northern Virginia, near where I grew up and my immediate family all live. Then things got complicated. My grandfather passed away last spring (April 2009), and we realized that having him there was what had been tying us to DC and without that we could be married anywhere!

There are two main reasons we chose Boulder, 1) it's where we live and can easily plan things in a hands-on way without having to pay for any travel expenses beyond a tank of gas and 2) the cost of hosting the wedding here will be significantly less per person than in DC or northern VA, so we're able to invite more people. The downfall of getting married out here is that it is virtually a destination wedding, even though we live here, we're asking the vast majority of our guests to travel here to celebrate with us.

Does the blog-o-sphere have any input on destination weddings? Is it somehow weird or rude to ask people to travel to you, rather than going to where most of them are? I figure that it's our wedding, and that everyone can plan their own wedding as they wish.

[caption id="attachment_683" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="original venue, Sequoia - Georgetown, DC"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_318" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="actual venue, St. Julien Hotel - Boulder, CO"][/caption]

SO glad we booked the St. Julien

[caption id="attachment_343" align="aligncenter" width="473" caption="18" of the 23" inches we got over 48 hours"][/caption]

If it snows like this, I know for sure that we can get married inside without messing up any plans or schedules.

Visiting the Venue and Weather Warnings

When I first got there, on 10/9/09 around 3:45 PM, it was slightly gloomy out and there was a big white tent on the [ceremony] lawn. I wandered around taking photos for a while, called a friend and chatted on the patio for a good 30 minutes, saw a hawk (and took it's photo), before heading home via the grocery store to prep and cook shabbos dinner.

The next day (Saturday the 10th), it snowed. That's not quite true, it started at about 9 PM the night before. There were about 2" total after 1.5" overnight and flurries all day. The temperature never got above 24ºF and it was COLD. Just to remind you all, that new record low (17ºF) set that day was set on our -1 year anniversary.

BE PREPARED AND CHECK THE LONG RANGE FORECAST BEFORE PACKING TO VISIT COLORADO. It would be unfortunate if you say packed a sun dress to wear to a wedding accompanied by the first snow of the year, or if you packed something fall/winter appropriate only to find it sunny and 75ºF.

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first catering meeting

Ben and I met with Tiffany, the catering coordinator at the St. Julien Hotel on Friday. I'd asked her to draw up some estimates/proposals for us on how they can work with our budget and IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S GOING TO WORK OUT WELL!!!! Huzzah!

[caption id="attachment_101" align="aligncenter" width="576" caption="ceremony lawn :)"][/caption]

We were hung up on the prices for a while, and seriously considered other venues, but this one had everything we wanted (most important being a weather-proof ceremony backup plan), and the fewest restrictions (out by 5 PM, not 2). It was also the priciest, but as long as they understand that the budget is strict, it shouldn't be a problem. Plus, Sunday lunch can be WAY cheaper than Saturday dinner, the typical wedding meal.

Ben's favorite venue was the Chautauqua Dining Hall, which would have been perfect if 1) the patio could seat more than 75 people for the ceremony 2) we hadn't had to stick with either 9:30 AM-2 PM or 5-9:30 PM hours. Blocking out the afternoon like that was the straw that broke the camel's back when we noticed that it would stomp out our afternoon wedding party ideas and mean that we'd have to have the ceremony at 10:30 in order to have lunch and be out in time. Sorry, but I'm not waking up at 6 AM to get my hair/making done on my wedding day.



Tomorrow (Monday) we're meeting with a potential wedding coordinator whom I found via The Budget Savvy Bride, a blog of DIY tutorials, wedding photos, and price break-downs of weddings held all over the country, submitted by brides (and maybe some grooms too?). Anyway, we're going to chat with her tomorrow about helping us pull it all together, herding cats (AKA relatives), and vendor references. Plus, the St. Julien requires we have a coordinator if we also have the ceremony there. I guess Tiffany, the catering lady, can only hold down the fort in one space at a time.

We still need: lighting, photographer, a DJ (who will mic the ceremony too), to finalize my dress with the seamstress, and to pick out a kettubah. I've tasked Ben with picking out the wording of the ketubbah, I trust him to find a nice egalitarian text, where the English isn't too far off from the Hebrew/Aramaic, and includes the Lieberman Clause.

I broke a rule on Saturday

We have a rule that Ben and I agreed on a while back, no wedding talk on Shabbat. We seriously broke that one last weekend when we went to a bridal show, all primed for free food, after a disappointing oneg after services last Saturday. Our synagogue has chosen to cut back on lunches to just snacks and juice if there's no one to sponsor lunch. Yeah, I ate grapes. There was also chocolate cake, but I'm allergic to chocolate, so that was a no-go for me.

Back to the bridal show.... We'd be warned by friends that while the location it was held in looks ideal in photographs, it is actually in an office park and the photographers conveniently and artistically crop their photos to hide it. My favorite caterer, whom we can't use because we're looking at inclusive venues, was there. Yum!  There were also lots and lots of cake samples and cupcakes to be had. Nothing earth shattering, but some had better frosting than others.

We also got a $200 off coupon from the DJ service we are most likely to use and looked at some photographers' collections. Sadly, we did not win the $500 cash prize, but Ben was OK with that because it was still Shabbat, even if we weren't really observing it at that time.

Nothing Earth shattering to report other than I'm 100% happy with my decision to not carry flowers. I spent about 30 seconds looking at different bouquets and they are heavy, make my eyes itch, and smell floral. Yeah, I know, duh. But really, I don't like floral stuff. Paper origami flowers, possibly with felt, yarn, and buttons here I come! I'd much rather carry a bunchy of crafty goodness in my hands than flowers that make me sneeze and itch. Who wants to sneeze and itch on their wedding day!?

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="600" caption="(not me)"][/caption]

Oh, and I returned a bunch of shoes that didn't work out for me. I've still got 2 pairs, one from Zappos and one from DSW that I'm deciding between and am trying to tell myself I don't need to order more.

Tentative Venue Decision

I think we're getting married at the St. Julien Hotel in downtown Boulder. The major decider: a weather backup plan. Although October is the sunniest month of the year in Boulder, I don't want to bet 100% that it will be beautiful outside. Yes, we're still planning on having an outdoor ceremony but if it rains we can all smoosh into 1/3 of the ballroom. They can set up something like 120 seats, and everyone else can stand around the edges/in the back. As far as I know, the ceremony will only be 30 minutes or so.

On thing I wonder is: Who is Saint Julien? Turns out, no one in particular (according to wikipedia), and I'm OK with that. I was just curious. Though Saint Julian is considered to be the saint of hospitality.

Now, I need to meet with the planner there again and hash out the financial details. As in, can we actually afford it? We'd be considered a budget wedding for this venue and would need to hire a coordinator for the ceremony, contact a rental company to get the fencing you see in the background of the photo below. That succesfully covers up Canyon Street and the Library. I love the library, but I'd rather have the focus on Ben, me, and the Flatirons behind us. Oh, and we'll getting married in that back corner, with people in chairs on the lawn. That gazebo thing, SO not our style. Plus, why would we want to put our awesome chuppah that my mom will be quilting for us under a gazebo AND face away from the mountains?

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="427" caption="from customweddingsofcolorado.com"][/caption]

and that's one venue OFF THE LIST (and one on it too)

Friday night, Ben and I went to check out the Hazel Miller Band at the Millennium Hotel, the place with the yurt. Remember how I couldn't check out the bathrooms when we visited because they were locked. I kinda wish I'd never seen them....

I told my dad that they reminded me of CCC park restrooms. His response: "Heh, oooh. Not good." Correct, not good. The public restrooms on Pearl Street are nicer! There is almost nothing that can be done with just a bathroom basket to nicen this place up, it's just BLAH. Small, cramped, un-heated in the winter and BLAH. So, we decided that lest our guests believe that we never checked out the restrooms before booking the beautiful yurt, we said good bye to the Millennium Hotel.

From there, where the music was too loud for Mr. Ben's sensitive ears anyway, we were still in search of dinner. The original plan had been to try out the food at the Millennium while there were other people there instead of being doted on in an almost empty hotel restaurant. I would have felt awkward when they asked where we were visiting from as opposed to going on a busy night meant for locals.

We decided to check out the Chautauqua Dining Hall for dinner. From inside the Millennium I called to see if we needed a reservation (we didn't), and we were on our way. 15 minutes later we were walking up to the Dining Hall. At first I thought we were under dressed, wearing jeans and all, but once we got there I noticed two things 1) there was a wedding inside the main dining room and 2) not only were were not under dressed, in jeans, hiking shoes and a fleece jacket we were dress EXACTLY like 90% of the clientele that evening who weren't wedding guests. Even the waitstaff were wearing kaki cargo pants/shorts and t-shirts with a silhouette of the Fiddler on the Roof with the caption of "a taste of tradition..." I like blending in.

We shared a very good salad caprice as an appetizer, Ben had the Trout Amandine and I had the Fusilli Primavera. I thought Fusilli were the bowties, oh well, giant elbows are good too. Both our dishes were perfectly cooked and delicious. After we inhaled the appetizer and were sopping up the balsamic vinegar with the crusty sourdough table bread, I said "I just got a waft of something yummy." Almost immediately, our food arrived! I'll have to take Ben's word for it since his dinner was covered in evil allergens, but he said his food was perfect too. Mine was so good that I couldn't resist digging in before I shot the above photo. Sadly both photos I tried to take of Ben's plate came out sad and fuzzy looking. Oh well. Low lighting is not the best for an older digital point and shoot.

Dessert was by far the best course. A lemon tart. Yum. Ben said the decaf was good too, again, I'll take his word for it since I'm not a coffee drinker at all.

So, now we're still deciding between the St. Julien, somewhere else (which is now the Chautauqua Dining Hall), and the elusive Flagstaff House Restaurant. We haven't gotten to visit Flagstaff because we wanted to try the food but it's too pricy for us while I'm out of a job. St. Julien is no wilting flower in the price department either, but we can still afford to go there for lunch and know that the food is wonderful. Flagstaff is only open for dinner by reservation only.

Would anyone like to gift us a fancy night out for two? We'll be responsible (fiscally and calorically) and share the starter and dessert, or main and dessert, and drink tap water too so that we can keep our tab under $100. Anyone? No?I didn't think so. My dad had better come visit soon, maybe he'll take us....

St. Julien site visit

Here's my report on my visit to Boulder's St. Julien hotel yesterday morning:

This is the view that we'd have for the ceremony (imagine the retaining wall with a lattice work the hight of the taller posts, to block the street view better). The chuppah would be in the corner, with a table over the electrical access plate, and the isle running diagonally across the lawn.

This gazebo is where a lot of people set their ceremony. How dull. Who wants a view of a the hotel? The mountains are a much better backdrop than the hotel, IMHO.

This is the far end of the ballroom. There are 3 parts, this is the smallest.

This is one the chandeliers that are in the ballroom. Just thought I'd show off how the ballroom is more modern/contemporary, and less East Coast opulent.

Here's the closer/front of the ballroom with breakfast table settings on cream cotton waffle table linens.

Here's a picture of the carpet. It's a dark bluish charcoal with a leafy motif. Definitely not the plushy paisley  we were seeing on the East Coast.

Here's the view from the lobby. I LOVE BOULDER!

This is the lobby. The window looking area on the left is a HUGE gas fireplace. It has broken industrial glass on the bottom, instead of the fake logs that you usually see. The reason it looks like a window is that it can be opened on the other to provide a fireplace for the patio (where we'd have cocktails).

The main entrance. I like being pampered at nice hotels. It's a great touch when they open the door and greet you as you're coming and going. Such a nice touch.

Stone Mountain Lodge

Um, there was no lodge. The bathrooms had showers and brown tiles. The ceremony site was gorgeous, but the reception tent was just eh. The "bridal tent" smelled like mildew.

Overall, you'd get some decent bang for your buck, but it definitely isn't the right place for us. Though I did meet a really helpful caterer/event planner. With this venue, I'm too worried about everyone 1) getting stuck in the mud if there's any inclement weather and 2) it being a place you have to drive too, people drinking at our simcha and then driving is a big fear of mine. I think we're going to stick with places downtown, within walking distance of a hotel, or at a hotel/lodge that has an actual lodge and isn't a motel.

Whatever, I sound like I'm bashing the place.... That wasn't my goal. If you're into cushy rustic, then this is the place for you. From the cute little cabins I saw a family of deer, and the vistas are amazing. But, apparently I'm attached to amenities like pavement and nicer bathrooms. Oh well. I'm sure it is the perfect place for the right couple.

 the cute little upstairs of a guest cabin
reception tent dance floor

the bridal tent/getting ready area (me in the mirror)

duck pond and yellow wildlife crossing sign in the background

outside of the reception tent

ceremony area

bathroom building with mini storage barn in front of it

looking down at the reception tent and duck pond from the entrance

one of the guest houses

mule deer

looking down the corridor at the motel-like rooms

the area where you’re allowed to put RVs and tents

Millennium Harvest House

Here are photos of the tour the dude and I went on this morning. The minimum is $10,000, with a $500 setup fee. They only hold one event per day so there's no need to worry about not having a weather backup plan because someone else got in the way. I've annotated the photos. I forgot to take photos of the day room that we would have access to all weekend, but it's about 800 square feet and has a large bathroom. It also has a wall of windows and they'd bring in whatever furniture we want in there, we only saw it bare. The only rules for the day room: no sleeping overnight in there and no liquor. They would also provide one complimentary "superior" room for Ben and I to have the night of the wedding.

The hotel is totally OK with us using an ice cream cater (though they would rather arrange it, like most other places) as well as having a flambe station. Candles and open flames are fine. There are a bunch of glass/mirror things we can use for no extra charge to make up table decorations, and their regular china is just fine but they have an arrangement with a rental company if we want to upgrade. I wonder if we can have a bonfire too.... That would be icing on the cake.


The Pavilion, or as I like to call it, the yurt, can hold up to 300. They put down a portable dance floor out on the side where the tennis courts are. There are dark green, waterproof canvases (I think they have windows) that can be rolled down if needed. There are also space heaters they can bring out if we want to stay outside even if it's totally freezing. The bathroom is on the right.



Here's the covered pathway from the hotel to the pavilion/yurt. The bathroom is on the left. It was locked, so I didn't get to check it out.



This is the lawn where most people set up their ceremony. You can see the mountains through the frees. The bridge goes over the creek and joins the Boulder Creek Path, it goes all the way out to the synagogue (34 blocks) and up to Boulder Falls (passing Pearl Street, about 1 1/2 miles away). That's the edge of the pavilion on the far right.



The tennis courts in the background are covered in big white bubbles by mid September.



This is the indoor/snow/rainstorm option. It's a ballroom. It has windows that overlook the courtyard where the pavilion/cocktail area/lawn are.

River Bend Golf and Country Club

My aunt and uncle are members of River Bend Golf and Country Club in Great Falls, Virginia. It is about 15 to 20 minutes from my parents house, and about 10 from Great Falls National Park.

They're redecorating it next winter. Sadly, it is too small for our needs. Only 90 people for the ceremony if it needs to be held inside. Very affordable though, but also very do-it-yourself. There really wasn't a planner, just a site coordinator.


the outside, front entrance



the pretty foyer, looking back towards the welcome desk


there's a piano in there!

the "rotunda" area, the corner of the L-shaped room we would have the small leg and corner of (the larger leg is the club's main dining area and can't be rented out)

Sequoia Restaurant, 30th and K, Georgetown

Our number one venue in Washington, DC is Sequoia, in Georgetown. It is apparently named after the presidential yacht, not the tree. Though the yacht might be named after the tree... Anyway, here are the photos. It is SO pretty. Here's a review showing what it looks like in the winter: review.

It's super pretty. You can see the Kennedy Center looking down the river, and you can sorta see Georgetown looking up (or just the Key Bridge)[sorry, no photos of that view]. Across the Potomac is Roosevelt Island, a National Park. Here are my pictures:

^ yes, that IS the Kennedy Center

Oh yeah, we can rent the WHOLE patio for ourselves!

Logistically, it'll be very interesting. There's no rental fee, if we meet the minimum (no problem), but there is an extra fee to rent out the patio. If we don't rent out the patio, re risk gawkers being seated out there, and that would be lame. Also, because the bow of the restaurant (there's a mild nautical them) sticks out over the promenade, and can get some really harsh sunlight, the event coordinator strongly suggests that we draw the curtains during the ceremony (and try and time it between security fly-overs along the river, where helicopters like to skim the Potomac while playing leapfrog with each other).

There's also a really plush private room off the main restaurant that would still be open to the public, it seats 40 in big leather chairs and sorta looks over where we would put the dance floor. For lunch, the coordinator says that she doubts anyone will want to sit there and that we'd  have the main restaurant, bar, and upper patio (the lower patio can't be rented at all, but it's really a bar/grill and much less fancy-shmancy) all to ourselves!

We have a date and a rabbi, we just need a dress, a suit, oh year, and a venue

But I'm starting to burn out on wedding crap already! Poop.

I started looking at wedding crap about a year after we officially moved in together, in May 2008. Now, after about 6 weeks of being officially engaged, I'm burning out. Thankfully we've got the part that we really care about set, our rabbi. He was happy to have free plane tickets (my parents have a gajillion frequent flyer miles) and 2 nights of lodging. We'll let him pick the dates/airports for his flights and then he can vacation in the DC area too.

Potential venues need to be contacted. I need to go visit them with my mom and the dude while I'm home for a week around the first night of Passover (first full week of March). So far we've got 4 major contenders, the DC JCC, Airlie Center (one of the secure locations outside of DC, in Virginia), Algonkian Regional Park, and The Atrium at Meadowlark Botanical Gardens.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="448" caption="Meadowlark Gardens - The Atrium"][/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="360" caption="Algonkian Regional Park - Meeting and Events Center"][/caption]

To keep me going for the next month, I asked my dad to buy and send me copies of some local wedding magazines so that I can look at the advertisements from home instead of the ones for where I live (Colorado), which aren't very helpful in planning from a distance. He's in advertising, so he thought it was GREAT that I wanted him to buy me some trashy reading just to read the ads. Maybe he'll have a look in the magazines too.

My dad also told me that my mom was a very "whatever" kind of bride. Ben and I have decided that we're not having any attendants and that we don't want to write our own vows. We're just fine with picking out a bad-ass ketubah and having that read out loud. I kind of want my dad to read Oh, The Places You'll Go and have someone (Ben's sister, who gave me the book) read a passage from Tuesdays With Morrie and an excerpt from the Mass. Supreme Ct. decision upholding same sex marriages 'cause I think that rocks.